There Is a Patron Named Amenhoteph Smith. Discuss.

A Question of Geography
Patron: I lost a book and I want to pay for it.
Caroline: Ok.
Patron: The book was from Andover.
Caroline: I'm sorry. I can't take care of that here. Andover isn't in our network.
Patron: Well, I'm sure as hell not driving to Andover to give them money there.
Caroline: Alright. Let me look at your record- I'll see what I can do.
Patron: Here it is.
Caroline: Err. Your book is actually from the Farms branch- we can take care of that.
Patron: You just said you couldn't.
Caroline: That was when I thought the book was from Andover.
Patron: It is from Andover. The Farms branch is in Andover.
Caroline: Actually, it's in Beverly. On Vine Street. In the Farms.
Patron: No, it isn't.
Caroline: No, you see, it's our branch. You know, us, the Beverly Public Library. We don't have a branch in Andover.
Patron: Clearly, you haven't worked here very long.

I (Don't) Love Lucy
Patron: Can I look at those DVDs behind you?
Caroline: The ones in the return bin?
Patron: Yes, those.
Caroline: Sure. Though they're all I Love Lucy, I think.
Patron: Can I see them anyway?
Caroline: Ok.
Patron: Aww. These are all I Love Lucy.

A Phone Conversation
Patron: Hi. I'm the patron who left their license at the library this morning.
Caroline: Right.
Patron: I need my license number.
Caroline: I'm sorry?
Patron: For reasons. Important reasons.
Caroline: What reasons?
Patron: I can't tell you that.
Caroline: I'm sorry, but I can't give out personal information over the phone. It's library policy.
Patron: Are you kidding me?
Caroline: No.
Patron: But I can't come in and pick it up.
Caroline: Why not?
Patron: (hangs up.)
Caroline: Well, then.

Clearly, This Person Doesn't Understand Multiplication
Patron: I want to reserve four passes to the Museum of Science.
Caroline: I'm sorry, we only have one pass. It admits four people, though.
Patron: But I want four passes that admit one person!
Caroline: I'm sorry, but that's just not possible.
Patron: That's it. I'm calling the Farms branch.

Architecture
Patron: I think you have such a beautiful library.
Caroline: Thanks! I like it too.
Patron: I haven't been in here for a couple years.
Caroline: Well, not much has really changed. We moved the Large Print section and added a CD section.
Patron: You added some stairs.
Caroline: Come again?
Patron: Those stairs over there. The marble ones. They're new.
Caroline: I think they're original, actually. That whole side of the building is.
Patron: You mean like that door? I thought that was a nice door you added there.
Caroline: Oh, no. Not this again.
Patron: What was that?
Caroline: Nothing.
Patron: So, when did you add the stairs?
Caroline: Err. 1913-ish?